I slept in a lot longer than I intended to, delayed someone important by two hours and then didn’t even go with him. Also, then didn’t let him take the keys because I said I’d ‘go out for a walk’ so I needed the keys, which seemed to upset him.

I complained that we didn’t get to spend enough time together… when we did spend loads of time together, and then when he made time for me, I fell asleep sitting next to him. Don’t understand why I’m this tired. Antibiotics? Tired or not, I feel horrible.

I’ve messed with his day, pushed him away when he tried to make me feel better and I moaned and complained for no apparent reason.

An apology isn’t really enough. Don’t know what to do. Hell, don’t know what I will do if he leaves me… and after how horrible I’ve been recently, he has every right to say he’s had enough. What do I usually do? I apologise and run away from it… in a literal sense. It’s funny, now that I think about it; it’s always been my fault that people leave me. It’s funny… I feel like leaving him the keys and doing just that. But I won’t. This time, I’m not running, I’d going to face that I’ve been wrong so many times, I’m going to apologise and do my best to not do it all again.

This is exactly how I didn’t want this year to end!

Is it any wonder that no one stays for long?

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